As I was studying for exams, working on presentations, keeping up with homework, working two jobs, and balancing extracurricular activities, I suddenly felt very VERY overwhelmed…Can’t imagine why…. But seriously, I was at my breaking point and so stressed about doing well in classes that my mind just completely shut down. It stopped retaining the equations, definitions, and theories that I had been trying to learn and understand… So naturally, I panicked and went down a slippery slope of “I’m going to fail.” College is not fun during those kinds of weeks…
But, all of the sudden I felt God’s love, joy, and peace drape over me. He wrapped his love around my soul and replenished my worn and stressed out self. In that moment I was gently reminded of these things:
I am NOT a grade.
I am NOT my accomplishments.
I am NOT my failures.
I AM His.
If I am trying my best, then it doesn’t matter what grade I make. It doesn’t matter if I completely bomb the subject. He doesn’t think less of me when I make an F on an exam. He is not disappointed that my best wasn’t good enough to education standards. It is ok to be really bad at something. It is ok to not understand certain subjects to the quality A standard that we set ourselves at.
What matters is that I am living for Christ. What matters is that through this entire college process is that I am learning about myself, growing my strengths and weaknesses. What matters is that throughout my four years in college I learn and grow my trust, strength, and faith in Christ.
God likes variety, and we can easily see that throughout the universe. We can see it by the different plants, animals, colors, smells, characters, and textures. So why do we keep comparing ourselves to others? Maybe that person is amazing with numbers, or that other person is an amazing artist, or that person is so great at speaking and capturing an audience. We all have different jobs that God has planned for us, and He has given us the strengths needed for that specific purpose.
What I hope you take from this, especially with finals just around the corner…I hope you realize that the grades you make don’t tell you how great, intelligent, and strong you are, because you already are those things. Don’t let letters define your life and worth.